Friday, May 25, 2007

A Simple Prayer

Abby's first day out of school, and it's not going the way I had planned. Starting at 7:30 trying to do ABR; finally giving up for a while at 11 and realizing I had only gotten 47 min accomplished. Gosh! Feeling frustration building, hearing Josiah crying in his bed asking to get up, I finally decided to go for a very brisk walk. This was a good idea. I had about 45 min to just listen to my ipod and try to regroup.

You know the feeling you get while you are listening to some great music that you love? You don't hear anything else but the instruments, the singer and your own thoughts about the song. Some how it always seems that music speaks my language so much better than any words I might try to sputter out. Chris Rice is one of those musicians for me... his music truly speaks to my soul. Several songs in particular tug at my heart... I thought I would just share one that got me today.

My Prayer
Chris Rice

Fresh page, new pen
Where do I begin
Words fail, tears come
I need someone
To take the thoughts I almost think
And carry them to God for me

Deep breath, exhale
Breathe in deeper still
Long sigh, I’m still numb
Is there anyone
Who can find the things I’m barely feeling
And give them wings beyond my ceiling?

Right heart, wrong place
It’s too far to outer space
Sorry, I forgot, You’re right here
I cup my hands around Your ear
I feel you smile, You feel my breath
You listen while I whisper non-sense

Simple exchange
Your will, I’m changed
And now my prayer ends
Thank You, Amen.

Copyright 2000 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)

You can check out a portion of this song and others at this site:

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Sticking with it

I can't describe our daily activities now without emphasizing ABR! It might seem some days that it has consumed our family dynamics in every way. I'm always looking for a quiet, free moment to set Abby up in her cozy spot to work on ABR. Those moments are few and often difficult to carve out of the day.

I find myself running around in the mornings while Abby is at school like a crazy person, hair sticking straight up, clothes carelessly thrown on, trying to get as much done as possible before Josiah eats lunch at 11. In spite of my earnest efforts, our house still looks messy and there is about 10 things I can see that need to be done when sitting in any one spot.

This is the point in life after making a very important decision where the grind of it starts to feel very real, and you wonder if you temporarily lost your mind when you committed to it. It takes a chunk of your energy and leaves you with the realization that it still wasn't quite enough... just a number to write on your chart. Those of you who are presently in the ABR journey probably understand what this feels like.

This past weekend we drove to TN to visit our sweet family. We had so much fun spending time with people we love and celebrating a special wedding. I had to let some of my nature to "stick to a schedule" go... ABR was not a priority this weekend, although it haunted me. I suppose I have to strike a balance b/w "real life" and "ABR life". We didn't accomplish anywhere near the hours we had hoped for but at some point I guess I have to learn to relax!

This is Abby's last week at pre-school and then we step into Summer! I'm really looking forward to having her at home with us again... although I realize how little I will be able to get done. ABR will be our focus for the next 3 months, and hopefully we can build up to 3 hours a day as planned! Over the weekend we watched the DVD's of Abby's assessment and intro to ABR. It brought back my focus and helped remind me why we decided to plunge into this challenge... to HELP our Abby! How did I let the discouragement of the day get in the way of our goal?! This really might change things for her. She is our gift from the Lord and He has given me this opportunity to learn. It's actually become a nice bonding time for the two of us.

I feel renewed and am ready to keep plugging away... it's time to stick with it!