Thursday, March 29, 2007


Are we doing enough?

A question that plagues my mind often. Especially after going to doctor or therapy appointments with Abby. Each visit reveals just how many things I haven't done to help her.

Do I stretch her legs enough, do I practice oral feeding with her enough, do I give her enough water, do I keep her busy enough at home, do I feed her slowly enough, do I give her enough calories, do I put her in the gait trainer enough, am I signing with her enough etc. The list could go on, but I think you get the idea.

Monday morning we went to seating clinic at Children's Rehab to have her kid's Kart adjusted and talk about getting a stander for Abby. We arrived at 8 am and I was prepared to hear about all the things I probably haven't done enough of. As soon as I thought this I was informed that her legs have more 'tone' (or stiffness) to them, and asked if I am stretching her throughout the day? Yes... I do, but probably not enough.

Today I woke up late after a long night with a feverish and crying baby. I rushed like a mad woman trying to get Abby dressed, changed, fed, hair brushed, afo's on then shoes and hearing aids. Before I knew it we were out the door running very behind. I knew that I probably should have let Abby's tummy rest before we hurried to the van, but I hate being late!!!

So off we went and not 30 minutes after I got home I got a call from her teacher
"Um, Abby just threw up all over the place and we are having to change her clothes... is this normal or should we be concerned?"
Well, I can't say it's really 'normal' but it does happen occasionally, especially when she doesn't get enough time to rest after feedings before she is moved.

Another 30 minutes later: "Abby just threw up two more times, I think you need to come and get her."

This all just to say that it's days like today and Monday that makes me wonder again, Am I doing enough?

I already know the answer. Of course I will never do enough. But if I trust my Lord to provide wisdom and strength at the needed times, I don't have to worry that I'm failing. God holds Abby in the palm of His mighty hand, and He ultimately provides all of her needs. He is the one with the perfect plan, not me. He did entrust her special life to us to care for and cherish, but as I start to wonder and worry about her future, He gently reminds me:

"I've got this one."